Exciting Expectations

Early First Stage Labor 11/2/15               02:47 I'm either tripping or these are real contractions. I don't actually like the word contractions because throughout the last trimester I started to get tightening of the uterus. They were real, but they were not like these: painful. I decided not to time anything because of the last few false alarms I had over the last few weeks. They actually weren't false alarms if I knew that real contractions start off as painful period cramps. I was under the impression that labor starts off as tightening then builds up to pain in later stages.  For pain relief I'm doing fine with breathing, using Arlinton as a heating pad, and trying not to freak out. I'm distracting myself by trying to sleep. I know it's very early labor because it's very tolerable and I have a good feeling at the end of each contraction; almost like refreshing goosebumps. 11/2/15               16:01 It's been about 14 hours later and

Early First Stage Labor 10/18/15           20:58 I woke up this morning feeling great. Me and Arlinton had a good morning before church in which I was able to make him pancakes, our favorite spicy sausages, and cheesy eggs for breakfast. Everything was delicious, but I started to feel this weird first trimester nausea after eating. The nausea persisted and lingered on throughout the day. On our way to church, I started to feel a fatigued. I looked awful at church or at least not myself because people kept coming to me wondering if I was ok. I honestly wasn't sure if I was ok. I was nauseous, tired, and was having tightening in my stomach that was accompanied by some pelvic discomfort. I really didn't know what to make of it because I've had these symptoms before. Something didn't feel quite right. 10/18/15         23:12 There hasn't been any real advancement in the pain. I continue to feel uncomfortable with intermittent tightening. I've been able to e

10/16/15       18:07 The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I finished birthing class, I left work, and I'm ready for our baby girl to make her grand entrance. Since being " term" I've been excited by the prospect of having Felicity any day now. On the other hand, reading Baby Bump group posts and browsing the web has made me slightly apprehensive about an early birth. So many people in the groups have babies in the NICU, were induced, or had some type of complication this early in the game. I really should be more physician-like about this stuff and do a paper review because all of the conflicting information is becoming overwhelming. Sadly, all the documentaries I've watched have been so anti-medicine that I'm leery about my own field despite good sense. Pregnancy should be a time where stress should be decreased for the health of the mom and baby. However, mothers are bombarded with what a friend of mine called "pregnancy terrorism" in which

9/7/15   00:03 Labor day weekend is usually a family centered weekend. The Caribbean culture parade ,on the first Monday of September, has served as an unofficial family reunion day since I could remember. It is also a time that I see other friends not affiliated with Caribbean culture because of the day off. Needless to say, Labor Day has it's place in my top 4 holidays with Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter in the lead. This labor day weekend has been especially amazing this year because I have been able to celebrate the births of two special young ladies, Logan and Brave. Brave made her way on the scene on 9/5. I was elated. I am still in shock that my best friend has a baby of her own. I was so excited, that I haven't been sleeping. Instead I've been in full baby mode: reading books, looking for sales, reading reviews, registering at my hospital, and creating my birth plan. Me and Ashley, Brave's mother, have spent hours talking about what we wanted for our bi

9/2/15        18:34 I have gotten so much support from my high school( Ashley)  and college ( Denesia)  besties. These 2 women have helped me through my years in school are now able to be my mentors during pregnancy. They are first time mothers as well , but were both 8 weeks ahead of me in gestation. It has been exciting to hear about their experiences and brace myself for what's ahead of me. So far, they have both been encouraging and motivating. I'm so lucky to have them in my life. Yesterday, was soooo exciting. I woke up to text messages that my homegirl, Denesia, was having contractions. I can't explain the excitement. I was glued to my phone all day for updates. Later in the day, she informed me that she was sent back home because it wasn't quite time. I was still excited and optimistic that her child was coming. I even got to witness a contraction over the phone. That probably wasn't the highlight of her day, but I was so honored to share in this special

8/12/15   23:42 Third trimester is here! I'll be hugging and kissing my precious daughter before I know it. I've heard that the last part of this journey will not be easy and may be the most difficult portion.  Women have warned me about the fatigue, pain, swollen feet, shortness of breath, and exhaustion that is ahead of me. I am optimistic; some call it naive. I honestly don't have the luxury to worry about any of it because the show must go on. I'm not only pregnant; I'm a resident in my 2nd year of training. This is my year to hone in on my skills and begin to learn the art of working independently as a psychiatrist. Admittedly, I am very tired and it's been evident to my classmates and loved ones. On a positive note, Felicity is healthy. I am beyond excited to be a parent despite any fears. I look forward to trying to enjoy my last trimester as it will be the last time that I will have the experience of carrying a baby for the first time.

I'm happy to announce that I don't have gestational diabetes. I am beyond thrilled. I am able to eat freely, enjoy my pregnancy, and have a piece of mind that my baby is healthy. This news has come just in time for my birthday and vacation. Although, I can't wait to eat, I'm more aware of the effect my diet has on my baby. After vacation will be the perfect time to redirect my efforts to healthy eating and an healthy lifestyle. I'm looking forward to swimming; the pool has been closed all summer . I'm also looking forward to enjoying the remainder of my pregnancy. I'm interested in hyponobirthing. The focus with hyponobirthing is to remain relaxed and enjoy the moment. Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum  are to all be enjoyable times.

7/24/15        23:06 I went to do my 3 hour sugar test today. I was able to avoid the trauma on my birthday. The solution was nasty this time. It was fruit punch flavored and probably the sweetest thing I've had in years. I think that if I didn't have diabetes, that solution was sure to give it to me. I'm now less anxious about the test results. I'm just trying to come to grips with just surrendering and realizing that I have to control either way. It just feels like someone stealing a basketball as I'm about to make the shot. I was having a completely "normal" pregnancy and this prospect of having gestational diabetes hurts that. On a different note, I'm becoming more aware that I am easily annoyed. Now, I don't think I am unnecessarily annoyed, buy I'm finding that things I would normally chalk up as a loss are now unbearable.  It 's hard to just shake things off. I also don't want to deal with certain things if I anticipate being

7/20/15     12:20 Felicity and I survived our first night float. Overall it was a great night and I can't complain. I'm hoping for good nights all week. While my shift was ending, I saw that the results of my glucose 1 hour test were received . I failed with 199; the norm is 90-140. I instantly became sad and concerned. How am I gonna diet while pregnant? Have I already harmed my baby? Is this my farewell to the birthing center, non-medicated birth, and pad thai? I instantly texted my husband the alarming news and had him promise to keep this to himself. Even as a physician, I was still ashamed as if I caused myself to have gestational diabetes. In fact, I shouldn't have been so surprised given my BMI and family history. Nonetheless, I was disappointed and concerned for my baby.  I called my doctor as soon as I got home and was informed that I'd have to take the 3 hour test at Quest Diagnostics. I looked though the available dates and BOOM : the next best time for t

I have received Mother's Day gifts since I was about 16;  partly because I helped raise my siblings and partly because I wasn't a mother. Mother's day was a reminder that I wasn't a statistic and that I was moving in the "right" direction. This Mother's Day not only am I a statistic, I am also a mother. I can't even count the amount of women I know that have recently given birth or are expecting. The wave has come and I'm happily caught in it. I also want to share that I feel that Mother's Day is for celebrating expectant mothers as much as it is for mothers with live children. Pregnancy is the pivotal time when mothers sacrifice themselves to give their children everything they need. The cycle goes on indefinitely until the child must provide for the mother. However, pregnancy is the first exemplary model of what mothers do. We give ourselves totally to ensure that our children are secure, nurtured, and healthy. I am so honored to be a mother.

Second trimester has been amazing thus far. I feel more like myself. First trimester deserves a blog post devoted to my hardship. The first six weeks were OK. I started feeling shortness of breath and fatigue, but overall I was feeling well. I ate junk food like crazy and was concerned about all the weight I would gain. I remember going to the first appointment and expressing my fears to my physician. She laughed at me. She said that she had no worries about my weight gain and I would soon find out that my concerns would be the least of my problems. Within a few days it was as if a curse was put on me because the nausea started. My nausea was nonspecific, but constant. I pushed away meals. I couldn't eat much. I felt like I was being tortured. Before I got pregnant, I stopped drinking alcohol. To my surprise, most of the first trimester ,after the 6th week ,felt like a nonstop hangover. The nausea was bad, but around week ten things got worse. I started to have acid reflux. I was a

3/20/15       8:32 Arlinton and I had our first prenatal appointment this week. Before the appointment I was asked whether I was nervous. I was not; I was excited. It was nice to finally go to a doctor and get medical care. It feels like it's really difficult to ask for appointment time despite me profession. Nevertheless, appointments are granted to expectant mothers with less push back. I plan to take the full advantage of this opportunity. Once I arrived to the office, I immediately ran to the bathroom. Two minutes later I was asked for a urine sample and had no problem delivering. My frequency of urination has been incredible recently. My OB is quick and efficient, but she took her time when she showed us our new family addition. I was ecstatic to see that our little one was healthy, reaching milestones, and had a strong heartbeat. I feel the experience solidified that my pregnancy is official and that life is absolutely precious. No tears yet, but I'm sure they will come

One of the most exciting things this pregnancy is that a few of my friends are pregnant as well. At least 7 of my acquaintances are pregnant now. Two of them are really close friends that have due dates within weeks of my own. Some of the other mothers have deliveries in the next two weeks. It has been awesome to have this shared experience because it offers more support than I can receive on a forum. Granted, the chicks on the forum are all about tmi with talks about cm, but they don't know me. My friends know me and know what will excite or scare me from this experience. The shared pregnancy has also made me closer to these lovely ladies. Pregnancy has rearranged my priorities entirely. I value sleep and talking with loved ones more than ever. If work is the least bit optional it takes the back burner. I think the pregnancy has also helped me to realize what is really important and most important to myself. I am putting my needs first. My pregnancy partners have also helped me wi

I can't honestly say I knew I was pregnant. My guess was probably as good as any other time I thought I was pregnant, but was not. One of my earliest symptoms was fatigue. I get tired early, but this was different. I would randomly get a feeling of impending pass out. I would feel so tired that I suggested stepping away for a nap. I didn't execute the power nap yet, but I feel I may in the future. The feelings of fatigue are beyond feeling sleepy. I feel like I have to sleep now or I will no longer operate. I've also experienced shortness of breath. It was to the point that I was afraid I was developing early heart failure. My exercise tolerance is about the same. I don't have to stop, but I am definitely more labored in my actions. I can't say that I developed cravings, but I have been surely sampling everything. In retrospect it seems like I was searching for what I may crave. So far, I've eaten most fast foods and I think I'm happiest with homemade food a

2/23/15   22:03 When I was in medical school my friends and I used to joke about becoming the pregnant intern. We were all single at the time. Our convos would be filled giggles as we laughed about who would get knocked up first. I was the partier out of the group, so I was usually voted close first if not second to bite the dust. The pregnant intern was a taboo title because we couldn't see how such a role would be feasible. How would a person be able to survive the rigors of residency while waddling to rounds? I absolutely can't answer that question, but I can say that I'm ready for the challenge. I'M PREGNANT. I really can't believe it. Our prayers have been answered and we will have a new blessed addition to the family. I'm so thrilled I can't really keep the great news to myself. I envisioned waiting until 20 weeks to tell most of my loved ones, but I'm so excited that I can hardly keep it to myself. My first plans are to start cleaning out the ro